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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Trending via TikTok:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Trending via TikTok:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Shared recently on Threads:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Making waves on Messenger:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like Earth needed to work on its selfie game… Or maybe it was just having a bad hair day ☹️🌎 #ToughCrowd #BooedByTheAliens"

activity, boo, Earth, everyone, funny moment, group, group activity, humor, memory, moment, picture, planetarium, stop, thinking, time, us, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

0

2 months ago

back, color, colour, everyone, favorite, favourite, getting, married, pregnant
Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, exhaustion, here, humor, life, reality, responsibility, tired, welcome
I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

0

2 months ago

day, die, emotion, exaggeration, going, humor, jealousy
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, believe, crazy, election, hard, humor, months, over, politics
I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

0

2 months ago

banana, bananas, bet, comparison, fruit, humor, i, jealousy, monkey, much, ownership, taken, thing, whole
My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

0

2 months ago

am, disturb, disturbed, do not disturb, enough, humor, humor quote, i, phone, self-deprecating, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

64 shares on WeChat this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

94 shares on Slack this month:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

78 shares on Discord this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

33 shares on YouTube this month:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Breaking via Reddit:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Trending via Discord:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Making waves on Facebook:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Seen just now on TikTok:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨