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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Just shared via X:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Just shared via WeChat:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

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Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.
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Commentary:
"Dance like nobody's watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus…because you never know who's checking their list twice! 🎅🕵️‍♂️🙏 Keep those moves holy, secure, and definitely festive!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Instagram this month:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

46 shares on X this month:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Just shared via YouTube:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Going viral on Threads:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Going bananas on Threads:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Seen just now on X:

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Seen just now on X:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Spotted on YouTube:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

Just shared via Telegram:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

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