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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has downloaded:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didnโ€™t move an inch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

There’s no bigger test of patience than typing your email address in on a TV with the remote.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine thinking you have any clue whatโ€™s going on.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Spotted on Snapchat:

How come itโ€™s called โ€œthrift store shoppingโ€ instead of Goodwill hunting?

Trending via Telegram:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Going bananas on Slack:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Trending via Snapchat:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Making waves on Discord:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentaryโ€” all of it.

Spotted on YouTube:

โ€œIโ€™m depressed because thereโ€™s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.โ€

Spotted on Instagram:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

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Commentary:
"Who knew binge-watching Breaking Bad could have such… explosive consequences? ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ›๏ธ Just hope your landlord doesn't find out! ๐Ÿ˜‰ #BreakingBed"

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

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Social Media Stars โญ

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Thereโ€™s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you call me โ€œdaddyโ€ in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. Itโ€™s very tiring but hopefully itโ€™s helping.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My optimism doesnโ€™t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Bands are always like โ€œhereโ€™s another songโ€. Yeah, no shit, thatโ€™s pretty much all you do.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

No, Iโ€™m not โ€œdating anyone.โ€ Iโ€™m really busy playing outside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on TikTok:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Going viral on Slack:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Making waves on Facebook:

Most people think that T-Rexes canโ€™t clap because they have short arms, but really itโ€™s because theyโ€™re dead.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Going bananas on Reddit:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Trending via WeChat:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering thatโ€™s not what they do.

Just landed via Threads:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Spotted on Messenger:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

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