Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Live now on X:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Trending via Telegram:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Just landed via WeChat:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, December, the grand finale of the year! 🎉 Here's hoping it's a sweet ending and not a plot twist nobody saw coming! 🍭✨"

December, ending, give, holiday, humor, me, new, new year, sweet, sweet ending, wish, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

0

2 months ago

angry, diet, food, food humor, humor, i, night, salad, third, third night, vegan
I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

0

2 months ago

cheat, cheating, evasion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, pun, satire, sleeping, tax, tax evasion
When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

0

2 months ago

50, aging, black, change, eraser, fridge, humor, joke, lightbulb, memory, memory eraser, men, Men in Black, nostalgia, turn, turning, turning 50
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

0

2 months ago

every, eyes, gender, gender roles, great, great man, humor, man, relationship, roles, rolling, rolling eyes, sarcasm, woman
Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

0

2 months ago

aging, getting, getting older, humor, moan, older, sexy
I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, dating, flirt, humor, i, interaction, roast, sorry, trying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Threads this month:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Weirdos gonna weird.

50 shares on Threads this month:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

(While my wife opens up her Christmas present) Remember when you said we needed milk?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Seen just now on Threads:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Going viral on Messenger:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Spotted on Telegram:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨