Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I don’t think the makers of protein powder have ever had chocolate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

18 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Just shared via Twitch:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Trending via Snapchat:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Just shared via Slack:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Reported on Threads:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

6 months ago

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal battle between the stomach and the heart – a classic dilemma! 🍬🤔 It seems the candies have indeed sparked a sweet rebellion inside you. Fear not, for sometimes a little indulgence is good for the soul… even if it leads to a sugar-induced negotiation between your organs! 😂🍭"

candy, eat, food, guilt, heart, humor, i, much, stomach, today, too, too much, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

18 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Breaking via Twitch:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Breaking via Discord:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Reported on Facebook:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴