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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

755 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,917

Funny Quotes Topics

13,887

Funny Quotes Images

10,917

29 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Trending via Telegram:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Making waves on Discord:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Spotted on X:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Just shared via Facebook:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Going viral on Slack:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

6 months ago

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the never-ending cycle of dishwashing – a true test of our endurance and dedication to cleanliness 🧼♻️ It's like Groundhog Day, but with plates and forks! They must be wondering why we keep giving them such a thorough spa treatment only for them to be filled with food crumbs shortly after 🍽️🚿 #DishLife

again, chores, cleaning, dishes, doing, food, going, hours, humor, irony, just, pointless, put, satire, waste, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

755 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,917

Funny Quotes Topics

13,887

Funny Quotes Images

10,917

29 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Seen just now on Slack:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Just landed via TikTok:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Just shared via Discord:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Just shared via Messenger:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Making waves on Threads:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Just shared via YouTube:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

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