Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Breaking via Telegram:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Live now on Facebook:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Spotted on Instagram:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Broadcasted on X:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Trending via Telegram:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

2 months ago

0

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the never-ending cycle of dishwashing – a true test of our endurance and dedication to cleanliness 🧼♻️ It's like Groundhog Day, but with plates and forks! They must be wondering why we keep giving them such a thorough spa treatment only for them to be filled with food crumbs shortly after 🍽️🚿 #DishLife

again, chores, cleaning, dishes, doing, food, going, hours, humor, irony, just, pointless, put, satire, waste, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

0

2 months ago

cheese, civilization, food, hope, humor, i, know, left, people, rebuild, society, still, survival
The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

0

2 months ago

autonomy, behavior, bodily, bodily autonomy, concept, dominance, everyday, everyday humor, hand, hand dominance, hands, helping, hilarious, human, human behavior, humor, just, me, observation, personality, personality traits, playful, playful observation, traits
My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, karma, kid, lesson, life, life lesson, me, parenting, played, resemblance, well, well played
If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

0

2 months ago

am, awareness, humor, i, ID, intelligence, irony, little, self-reflection, smart, stupid
Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

0

2 months ago

activity, actually, alone, alone time, care, eat, eating, eating out, ever, going, me, me time, most, peace, peaceful, relaxation, self, self-care, shopping, solo, solo activity, therapy, things, time, yourself
Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

0

4 months ago

experience, humor, laptop, outdoors, outside, working

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

10 shares on Discord this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

46 shares on X this month:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Going viral on Twitch:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Live now on Snapchat:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Spotted on YouTube:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Just shared via Instagram:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Seen just now on X:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

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