Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Spotted on Instagram:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Trending via Threads:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Spotted on Discord:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Going viral on Messenger:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Please hold all interruptions until my embarrassment performance has concluded. 🙈💃🚫#AwkwardlySpeaking"

awkwardness, embarrassing, embarrassment, funny moment, humor, interrupt, interruption, me, moment, myself, self-deprecation, situation, social, social situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

0

2 months ago

career, choices, desires, housewife, humor, i, job, life, life choices, opportunity, rich, take
Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

0

2 months ago

age, explode, humor, loud, men, sneeze, sound
I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

0

2 months ago

chores, doing, humor, i, laundry, me, no one, procrastination, relatable
The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

0

2 months ago

admit, change, climate, environment, going, humor, irony, issue, nothing, problem, solution
Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

0

4 months ago

digital, digital pet, getting, health, humor, nostalgia, opinion, pet, second, second opinion, Tamagotchi, virtual, virtual pet
Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

0

1 month ago

ahead, change, dollar, Dollar Tree, humor, joke, just, name, need, price, prices, shopping, store, tree, unexpected, unexpected price

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Making waves on Messenger:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Trending via Threads:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Just shared via Reddit:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Spotted on X:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Spotted on WeChat:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Trending via Snapchat:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨