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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Trending via Facebook:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Just landed via Twitch:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Trending via YouTube:

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

Seen just now on Slack:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Just shared via Threads:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

Just shared via X:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the constant struggle of misplacing motivation… It's right up there with missing socks and vanished TV remotes! 🧦📺 Who knew inner drive could be such a sneaky little rascal? Let's hope it turns up in the lost and found before we resort to offering a reward poster! 🕵️‍♂️💰 #MotivationMystery"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Spotted on Threads:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

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