Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Spotted on WeChat:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Just landed via Slack:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Live now on Reddit:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Trending via Reddit:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

0
Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the constant struggle of misplacing motivation… It's right up there with missing socks and vanished TV remotes! 🧦📺 Who knew inner drive could be such a sneaky little rascal? Let's hope it turns up in the lost and found before we resort to offering a reward poster! 🕵️‍♂️💰 #MotivationMystery"

, , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

63 shares on Discord this month:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

33 shares on Slack this month:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Trending via Messenger:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Breaking via Messenger:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Making waves on X:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴