Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,759

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Trending via Snapchat:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Just landed via Messenger:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Just shared via Facebook:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Trending via Threads:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Going viral on Reddit:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

1 week ago

Funny quote about losing motivation and things slipping away in a humorous tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the constant struggle of misplacing motivation… It's right up there with missing socks and vanished TV remotes! 🧦📺 Who knew inner drive could be such a sneaky little rascal? Let's hope it turns up in the lost and found before we resort to offering a reward poster! 🕵️‍♂️💰 #MotivationMystery"

anything, doing, hate, humor, lose, losing, motivation, procrastination, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

71 shares on X this month:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

37 shares on Discord this month:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is this art or trash?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Live now on Facebook:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Shared recently on Threads:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Shared recently on X:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Shared recently on X:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Live now on TikTok:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Making waves on YouTube:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

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