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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Spotted on Messenger:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Live now on Instagram:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Making waves on Instagram:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Going viral on Twitch:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Going bananas on YouTube:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Just shared via TikTok:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Going viral on Discord:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

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Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?
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Commentary:
"Ever feel like you need subtitles just to understand what on earth this person is saying? 🤔 Maybe you two are just speaking different languages – the language of confusion and bewilderment! 😂😜 Who needs clarity and understanding when you can just keep asking 'What?' for eternity! 🤷‍♂️🤣"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

71 shares on X this month:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Seen just now on Messenger:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Trending via Discord:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Going viral on Reddit:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Live now on Messenger:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

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