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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

2 hours ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Going viral on TikTok:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Going viral on Slack:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Just landed via Messenger:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Spotted on Reddit:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Seen just now on Slack:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

6 months ago

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

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Commentary:
"Ever feel like you need subtitles just to understand what on earth this person is saying? 🤔 Maybe you two are just speaking different languages – the language of confusion and bewilderment! 😂😜 Who needs clarity and understanding when you can just keep asking 'What?' for eternity! 🤷‍♂️🤣"

communication, ever, humor, life, person, relationship, rest, saying, someone, spend, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

2 hours ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Trending via Pinterest:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Spotted on Messenger:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Just landed via Slack:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Spotted on Facebook:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

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