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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Live now on X:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Going viral on TikTok:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Spotted on Messenger:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

2 months ago

0

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Discovering the true meaning behind 'Suits' was a plot twist greater than any legal drama! 🔥😱👔 Who knew the power of a mere title could unleash such fiery emotions? Something tells me this revelation was a lawsuit waiting to happen! ⚖️😂 #MindBlown"

anything, ever, frustration, hot, humor, i, irony, lawsuits, me, misunderstanding, rage, revelation, show, Suits, television, wear, white

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

0

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, humor, important, life, responsibility, ruining, stress, work
I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

0

2 months ago

chicken, humor, i, morning, scream, understand, wake, wake up, why
Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

0

3 days ago

best, bother, boundary, call, communication, home, humor, me, phone, phone call, reach, time, timing, work
Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

0

2 months ago

clothing, gravity, humor, pant, physic, struggle, times
People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

0

2 months ago

always, ask, breakfast, chair, convenience, hell, humor, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, shower, standing
I can feel your energy from two planets away.

0

2 months ago

away, connection, distance, energy, feel, humor, i, planets, vibe

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

18 shares on Discord this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

69 shares on X this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

18 shares on Threads this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Breaking via Instagram:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Shared recently on X:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Going viral on Telegram:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Just landed via Slack:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

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