Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Just shared via X:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Spotted on Discord:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal struggle of conquering the untameable Worcestershire Sauce… It separates the wannabe gangsters from the true sauce aficionados! 🕶️🔥 #SauceBoss"

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

19 shares on X this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,709

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Just shared via X:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Just shared via Slack:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Going bananas on Threads:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Just shared via X:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Trending via Reddit:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴