Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back. Posted on2 weeks ago by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppCommentary:"Story of my life: the things I love always have commitment issues. 💸🚔📱 #expensive #badboyfriendmaterial" Related Funny Quotes 🤝 Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances. I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it. All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening. If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions. Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.