First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

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Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

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If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

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Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

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Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

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Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

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The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

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Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

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I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

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Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

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Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.