Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.
  • Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.
  • I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.
  • Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.
  • You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.
  • Apparently β€œew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.