Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”