118 Funny behavior quotes

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you lemons, shake what your mama gave you! 🍋💃😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

  Commentary:
  "When I say I'm on a seafood diet, I mean I see food, and I eat it. 🥴🍕 Let's keep it that way!"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

  Commentary:
  "When grocery shopping turns into a horror movie: *The Munchies: Chapter 4!* 🛒🌿👻😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

  Commentary:
  😂 "So true! It's like living with a furry surveillance buddy who's always one sniff away from being banned on a plane! 🐶👀💩🔍"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Calling the police when someone unfollows.

  Commentary:
  "Plot twist: I'm filing a missing follower report. 😂🚨📱"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

  Commentary:
  "Oh no, I knew my astrological Wi-Fi was acting up! 📡🔮😅 #MercuryInGatorade"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

  Commentary:
  "Me too! We're both members of the 'Gracefully Clumsy Club.' 🐦💥😅"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

  Commentary:
  "Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

  Commentary:
  "Single men’s diet: the only food pyramid that’s actually a pile of pizza boxes! 🍕🤣"

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