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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that double negatives are a big no-no.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2413 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,575

Funny Quotes Topics

15,244

Funny Quotes Images

12,575

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Trending via Snapchat:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Breaking via Instagram:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Spotted on Threads:

Everyone’s a badass until the doorbell rings.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Spotted on Slack:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2413 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,575

Funny Quotes Topics

15,244

Funny Quotes Images

12,575

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,466

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never understood when the movie rating says “May contain nudity.” Are there people on the ratings board who aren’t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Trending via WeChat:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Just landed via TikTok:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Making waves on Threads:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Spotted on Slack:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Spotted on Facebook:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Breaking via YouTube:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

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