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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Just shared via Threads:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Funny Breaking Bad quotes

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All funny Breaking Bad quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

85 shares on X this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Making waves on Slack:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Making waves on Messenger:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Trending via Instagram:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Just shared via Threads:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Trending via Discord:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Live now on X:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

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