Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Spotted on Threads:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Going viral on Reddit:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Making waves on TikTok:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Shared recently on X:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Trending via WeChat:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Going viral on Twitch:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Going bananas on Threads:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Just landed via Threads:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Funny business card quotes

New funny business card quotes 👇

All funny business card quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

37 shares on Slack this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

94 shares on Slack this month:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I run a parody bank account.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,737

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Seen just now on Slack:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Spotted on WeChat:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Just shared via Twitch:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Just shared via WeChat:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Just landed via Discord:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Making waves on TikTok:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Going viral on TikTok:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴