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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Dude so boring, itโ€™s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasnโ€™t for them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

No revenge, because I donโ€™t even remember what happened.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,816

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on X:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Making waves on Twitch:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Trending via Reddit:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Going viral on X:

Venn diagrams. You either love โ€˜em or you hate โ€˜em. Or youโ€™re somewhere in the middle.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that Iโ€™ll have something even worse to say back.

Making waves on TikTok:

Iโ€™ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Just landed via X:

Ah, the magical land of Mondayโ€”the gift that keeps not giving!

Going bananas on Slack:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Making waves on Discord:

Itโ€™s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Home ยป Funny Cold Food Quotes

Funny cold food quotes

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New Funny Quotes
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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐ŸŽ„ Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

They said donโ€™t try this at home, so Iโ€™m coming over to your place.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

7 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Stores should accept โ€œI bought this while depressedโ€ as a valid reason for a return.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,904

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

People always ask me why thereโ€™s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Iโ€™d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

I donโ€™t like who I become when Iโ€™m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Slack:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Spotted on Slack:

Iโ€™m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless Iโ€™m driving.

Trending via Threads:

Subtitles are for when youโ€™re eating chips.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Seen just now on Discord:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Seen just now on TikTok:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Making waves on X:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Breaking via Reddit:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

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