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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Just landed via TikTok:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Making waves on Slack:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Just shared via Reddit:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Trending via YouTube:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

35 shares on Slack this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

62 shares on Threads this month:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

18 shares on Slack this month:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Breaking via Telegram:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Going bananas on Threads:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Freshly posted on Slack:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Trending via Instagram:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

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