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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I love unplanned fun.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Trending via Snapchat:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Going bananas on Messenger:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Seen just now on Threads:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Just shared via Slack:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

11 Funny complaining quotes

More funny complaining quotes 👇

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

3 months ago

complaining, experience, family, family vacation, kids, me, tantrum, terrible, terrible experience, vacation, whining

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All funny complaining quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

75 shares on Facebook this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

47 shares on X this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Going bananas on Discord:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Going viral on Facebook:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Making waves on Slack:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Going viral on Messenger:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Trending via Reddit:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

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Activity Log ✨

11 Funny complaining quotes

More funny complaining quotes 👇

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

All funny complaining quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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