96 Funny death quotes

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: My plan is to die young as late as possible.

  Commentary:
  "Forever young, but not a minute early! 🕒😎👴"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

  Commentary:
  "Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

  Commentary:
  "Just sent the email! Now let's hope I don't get carried away by a gust of wind. 💨📧😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

  Commentary:
  RIP to the inventor of autocorrect – may he finally find peace without any ducking typos! 🙏🏼🦆😂 #RestauRANTInPeace

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal truths of life: death will come knocking, and Princess Diana's radiant face will always grace the magazine aisles, reigning supreme! 👑💀📰 #ForeverRoyal"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

  Commentary:
  "Let this be a friendly reminder to always drive safely, unless you want your passengers to inherit grandpa's knack for drama!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

  Commentary:
  "Well, well, well, if it isn't the executioner trying to cut me off mid-sentence! Looks like I'll have to filibuster my way out of this one too. Let me tell you about the time I escaped a guillotine using only my wit and charm…"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Cupid missed the mark on this one! 😅💘 Who knew love could be so hazardous? Maybe next time Cupid should consider switching to a Nerf bow and arrow for safety reasons. 🏹 #ValentinesDayGoneWrong"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

  Commentary:
  Well, isn't time just playing the long game of hide and seek with us? It's out here claiming to be a great healer, but really it's the ultimate undefeated champion in the game of life 🏆⏳💀 #PlotTwist #TimeIsNotAlwaysOnOurSide

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

  Commentary:
  "What a unique way to stand out at the next wedding! 💐😄 Talk about taking 'till death do us part' to a whole new level! 👰🏼‍♂️💒 #WeddingsAndFunerals"

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