Funny quotes ยป death ยป Page 3

76 Funny death quotes

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  • Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

    Commentary:
    “Ah yes, because nothing motivates a kid quite like the imminent doom of a stick figure! 🤣🪓 #ParentingWin #HangmanSavior”

  • My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

    Commentary:
    “Who says you can’t take your love for merch to the grave? 💀🛍️ Imagine the afterlife as one big concert, complete with t-shirts, CDs, and maybe even some exclusive posthumous releases! Rock on from beyond the grave! 🤘😂”

  • RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘I’m better than the Gods’ spiel. 🙄 Bold move, my friend. Let’s hope they have a sense of humor up there. 💁‍♂️ Remember, even heroes can trip over their own cape sometimes! 🦸‍♂️ #HubrisAlert”

  • They call it a coffin because theyโ€™re finally coughing up that inheritance.

    Commentary:
    Looks like it’s payback time for all those years of tolerating family drama! 💸💀💰 #InheritancePayback

  • After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like even in the afterlife, this person is planning to have a social calendar busier than the Kardashians! 👻💁‍♂️ Better make sure to RSVP in advance to meet this ghostly VIP! 😄 #AfterlifeGoals”

  • You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t life just a series of epic performances sprinkled with a touch of drama and a pinch of embellishment? 🎭😂 Remember, it’s all just a dress rehearsal until the final curtain call! Why not add some jazz hands and a fabulous finale to your story? 💃🕺💫

  • Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

    Commentary:
    “Confucius knew how to make the best out of every situation – even the hangovers! 🍺💀 Just remember, it’s all about quality over quantity…unless we’re talking about #memories, then bottoms up! 🥂😄”

  • Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

    Commentary:
    “Some people seem to defy all odds by successfully navigating life with minimal brain function 🧠🤪 Here’s to the walking reminders that stupidity knows no bounds! 🙃😜”

  • I wasnโ€™t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

    Commentary:
    “Googling symptoms: the ultimate rollercoaster ride between ‘It’s just allergies’ and ‘Guess I’m a ghost now’ 👻🤧 #DrGoogleSays”

  • The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

    Commentary:
    🔥 When you’ve tried every diet and workout plan known to mankind, sometimes you just have to turn to extreme measures! 😂 Who knew the hottest body could be achieved at the crematorium? Just make sure you don’t take the saying “hot body” too literally! 🔥💪

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