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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Making waves on Threads:

Oh good. Another day.

Live now on Pinterest:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Going viral on Messenger:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,290

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,290

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Live now on Pinterest:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Trending via YouTube:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Going viral on Twitch:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Going viral on Pinterest:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Going viral on Discord:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

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