Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Making waves on Facebook:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Going viral on Telegram:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Going bananas on Discord:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Going viral on Facebook:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Making waves on Messenger:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

59 shares on TikTok this month:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re my least favourite notification.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Aura is the real business card.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Just shared via YouTube:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Just shared via Threads:

In banana years, I am bread.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Seen just now on Slack:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Just shared via TikTok:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

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