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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

70% of the planet is covered in water, yet here I am drowning in bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Spotted on Slack:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Going viral on Telegram:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Just shared via X:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Just shared via WeChat:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

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Funny dentist appointment quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not addicted to Twitter. I’m just a really good listener so I want to know what everyone has to say.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Spotted on Instagram:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Live now on Pinterest:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Spotted on Discord:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Just landed via YouTube:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

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