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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I always need to pee, but it’s just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Going viral on Threads:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Breaking via X:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Making waves on Telegram:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Seen just now on Discord:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Going viral on YouTube:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Funny Dubai quotes

Funny Dubai quotes are the perfect way to capture the city’s dazzling charm and larger-than-life vibe with a splash of humor 😄🌆 From towering skyscrapers to desert adventures, Dubai never fails to inspire laughs and amazement alike 🏙️🐪 Whether you’re a local or a visitor, these witty lines will have you smiling as bright as the city lights ✨🤣 Ready for some giggles with a Middle Eastern twist? Let’s dive in!

New funny Dubai quotes 👇

All funny Dubai quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

65 shares on Slack this month:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

23 shares on Slack this month:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

14 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

91 shares on Threads this month:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

49 shares on X this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Going viral on YouTube:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Making waves on YouTube:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Seen just now on X:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Making waves on WeChat:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Spotted on Slack:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Just landed via Telegram:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

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