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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Live now on Telegram:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Trending via TikTok:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Going viral on Slack:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Seen just now on Discord:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2143 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,305

Funny Quotes Topics

15,032

Funny Quotes Images

12,305

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Trending via Messenger:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Trending via X:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Shared recently on Discord:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Breaking via WeChat:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

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