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106 Funny expectation quotes

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

2 months ago

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

2 months ago

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

2 months ago

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

2 months ago

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

2 months ago

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

3 months ago

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

3 months ago

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

3 months ago

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

3 months ago

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

3 months ago

They expect me to work at work.

3 months ago

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

3 months ago

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

3 months ago

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

3 months ago

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

3 months ago

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

3 months ago

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

3 months ago

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

3 months ago

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

3 months ago

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

3 months ago