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Jan 20, 2025
Share →: Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Commentary:
"Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio? Because turning 'far' into 'fart' just wasn't classy enough 🏃‍♂️💨😆"

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Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

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Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

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Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

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Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

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Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

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Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

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“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

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If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

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Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

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Spotted on Discord:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Making waves on X:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

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They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Trending via Pinterest:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

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Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

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A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

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Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

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The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

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