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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Just shared via Reddit:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Just shared via Threads:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Going viral on WeChat:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Going viral on Snapchat:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Trending via Discord:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Funny fierce quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Slack this month:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

35 shares on Threads this month:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep my mind active by worrying.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Just landed via Reddit:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Just shared via YouTube:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Just landed via WeChat:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

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