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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Spotted on Discord:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I am cassette tape years old.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Going bananas on X:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Just shared via Facebook:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Funny financial abuse quotes

New funny financial abuse quotes 👇

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

2 months ago

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want

All funny financial abuse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

79 shares on X this month:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

50 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

96 shares on Discord this month:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

48 shares on X this month:

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

39 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Just landed via TikTok:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Going bananas on Instagram:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Live now on TikTok:

Is this art or trash?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Just shared via Messenger:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Shared recently on Threads:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Just shared via Discord:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny financial abuse quotes

New funny financial abuse quotes 👇

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

All funny financial abuse quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨