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Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny. - 78 shares on TikTok this week.
Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet. - 51 shares on YouTube this week.
I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons. - 61 shares on Telegram this week.
76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system. - 70 shares on TikTok this week.
I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself. - 34 shares on TikTok this week.

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Funny flyer quotes

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Posted on23 hours ago