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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Making waves on TikTok:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Trending via X:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Just landed via Facebook:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Making waves on Reddit:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

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Funny fragile quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Trending via LinkedIn:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Making waves on X:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Reported on Reddit:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Reported on Facebook:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Broadcasted on X:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

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