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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

104 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,809

Funny Quotes Topics

15,440

Funny Quotes Images

12,809

Updated

43 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Live now on YouTube:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Just shared via Discord:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Just shared via Twitch:

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Just landed via Messenger:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Trending via Messenger:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Home » Funny Going Quotes » Page 4

310 Funny going quotes

More funny going quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Commentary:
Thinking cap on, pizza oven preheated! 🍕🤔 If it's not cheesy, I can't make it easy! 😄
2 weeks ago
Share →: Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Commentary:
Trying to understand what's happening feels like attempting a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing 😂🧩🤷‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Commentary:
Sure, just going to let my brain go on vacation and hope things work out 😂🧠✈️
2 weeks ago
Share →: My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Commentary:
Planning for an epic world trip… around the block! ✈️🌍 Back by dinner! 🍕😄
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Commentary:
Who needs sanity when we can have a road trip in our brains? 🧠🛣️😜
2 weeks ago
Share →: What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Commentary:
POMO: Pleasure Of Missing Out and seeing those crazy updates while you're chillin'. 😎🍿
2 weeks ago
Share →: I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Commentary:
Just holding out for the season finale of Earth to decide if I should start adulting 😂🌍⏳
3 weeks ago
Share →: Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Commentary:
Relatable! Dating or just a one-person comedy show starring me? 🎭😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Commentary:
Sounds like they're living in a glass house and throwing shade! 🌪️🤐🕵️‍♂️
3 weeks ago
Share →: OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Commentary:
Looks like 20/20 vision is about to join the chat! 🤓👀✨

For even more funny going quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny going quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Trending via Slack:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Just landed via Messenger:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Just landed via Discord:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Going viral on Discord:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Just shared via Messenger:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Breaking via WeChat:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Breaking via WeChat:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

310 Funny going quotes

More funny going quotes 👇

For even more funny going quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny going quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

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