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Nephew-level savage: 100, Ego: 0. Guess next time I’ll start with just opening the door! 🏋️♂️🚪🤣
392 Funny going quotes
This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.
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Looks like I've got a one-way ticket! 😈👀🔥
I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?
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That's the secret contract: one snort equals a date! 😂🤝
Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.
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Ready to crack the case of the midnight munchies with my trusty sidekick, Scooby-Doo! 🐾🔦🔍
It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.
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Weekend warrior at doing absolutely nothing, and still earning a gold medal in napping! 🛌🤣💤
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.
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Well, maybe if expiration dates were printed on foreheads, we'd all be a little nicer 😂🤝⏳
You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.
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Why fretting over confusion when I've mastered the art of cluelessness? 🤷♂️🧐
Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?
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Espresso-ing my excitement for morning already! ☕😴✨
Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.
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Sounds like someone's about to either redecorate or re-evaluate 🎲🪑😆
“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.
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This is me every morning, and caffeine rewards me for being consistent 😂☕💤