390 Funny going quotes

Funny going quotes 😄—those little nuggets of humor and wisdom that keep us chuckling through life’s ups and downs. Whether you’re meandering through Monday madness or surfing the weekend waves, these playful quips add a sprinkle of laughter to the routine. Perfect for a quick giggle or a deep belly laugh, they remind us that life is too short to take too seriously. So buckle up, because these quotes are your ticket to a fun-filled journey through the chaos and comedy of everyday adventures! 🚀✨

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

May 23, 2026

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

May 23, 2026

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

May 23, 2026

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

May 23, 2026

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

May 23, 2026

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

May 23, 2026

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

May 23, 2026

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

May 23, 2026

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

May 23, 2026

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

May 23, 2026

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

May 23, 2026

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

May 23, 2026

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

May 23, 2026

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

May 23, 2026

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

May 23, 2026

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

May 23, 2026

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

May 23, 2026

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

May 23, 2026

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

May 23, 2026

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

May 23, 2026

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

May 23, 2026

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

May 23, 2026

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

May 22, 2026

390 Funny going quotes

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.