Commentary:
In your 20s, the real family drama is deciding whether it's Tony Soprano or laundry day that gets your attention first 📺🧺 #Priorities
393 Funny going quotes
Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.
Commentary:
When the pre-party snacks turn into your main event 🥳🎉🍕#EarlyBirdSpecial
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.
Commentary:
Getting ready to stuff myself with turkey and lots of "Joe Briden" debates 🍗😂🦃
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.
Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄
Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.
Commentary:
Guess you're just trying out for the Cirque du Traffic! 🎪🚓😂
My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.
Commentary:
Everything is fine and dandy, or is it just what “they” want us to believe? 🤔🌈✨
And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.
Commentary:
Master of Disappearing Acts: Now you see me, now I'm awkwardly missing you while pretending to be busy! 🤹♂️✨😅
FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).
Commentary:
Embracing winter with open arms and closed doors! ❄️🏡😂
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.
Commentary:
Relatable on so many levels! 😂 Work-life balance: 0, Work-work balance: 100! 🏃♂️💼🛌
Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.
Commentary:
Time to buy that winning ticket, because these artifacts and abs aren't going to admire themselves! 🤑🏛️💪