Commentary:
Finally, someone found the fast track to my list of new best friends 🤣🚫✈️
405 Funny good quotes
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.
Commentary:
Always on the lookout for life's unexpected appetizers! 🍕👀🍔
Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.
Commentary:
Who needs extra layers when you've got the breeze as your personal AC? 🌬️😄🍑
Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?
Commentary:
Ah, the golden age of texting when "are you a robot?" wasn't the first date question 😂🤖📱
(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.
Commentary:
When your spirit animal is Eeyore but you tell everyone you're living the dream 😂🙃🌧️
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.
Commentary:
Imagine a world where silence is golden and shushing librarians are the fierce protectors of peace 🦸♀️🤫… next stop, silent coffee shops? ☕📚
When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.
Commentary:
Must be rough being this good-looking… beauty is such a blockable offense! 😎😂🔒
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.
Commentary:
When she's right even when the universe is against you! 🤦♂️❤️🔮
Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.
Commentary:
Magic like that must come with a toilet wand and a splash of confidence 💩✨📸
“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”
Commentary:
Ah, the best kind of mental health break: cold air and zero thinking required! 🆒❄️😎