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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Going viral on Facebook:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Live now on Pinterest:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Trending via Messenger:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Just landed via Reddit:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Just landed via Discord:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Making waves on Pinterest:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Funny granite orb quotes

New funny granite orb quotes 👇

All funny granite orb quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I probably think this song is about me.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Life tip: if nothing goes right, go to sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Making waves on Reddit:

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Live now on Pinterest:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Just shared via Threads:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Just shared via Twitch:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Live now on WhatsApp:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

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