Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Trending via Messenger:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Breaking via Threads:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Just landed via Telegram:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Just shared via TikTok:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Just landed via Twitch:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Funny greed quotes

Funny greed quotes 😂💰 shine a hilarious light on our love for more—whether it’s cash, snacks, or just extra seconds of fun! Ready to laugh at the absurd lengths we go to grab that little extra? These witty lines serve up truth with a side of giggles, proving that sometimes, being a bit greedy can be downright entertaining. Get ready to chuckle and maybe even relate! 😜💸✨

New funny greed quotes 👇

All funny greed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

30 shares on Twitch this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

59 shares on Threads this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

66 shares on X this month:

Music just makes living on this earth a little bit more bearable.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

59 shares on Threads this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sick of waking up thinking about the government, and going to bed thinking about the government.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Trending via X:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Making waves on X:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Trending via X:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

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