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Testing snake bites: the ultimate patience challenge! 🐍⏳😅
Funny poison quotes
It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.
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Sounds like a great way to dodge house chores the next day! 🍷🤢🛌
I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.
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Trying to shock Gordon Ramsay with my culinary restraint! 😅🔪🥣
We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.
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When a Disney princess takes an MBA: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the richest of them all?" 🍎💰👑
If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.
Commentary:
"If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t catch me falling for some basic apple trick! 🍎🙅♀️ I'd need a taco 🌮 on the line for that poison to even tempt me! Bring on the guac-induced slumber! 💤😂"
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"