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164 Funny home quotes

Funny home quotes perfectly capture the chaos, comfort, and quirks of life at home! 🏠😂 From messy rooms to family shenanigans, these quotes remind us why home is where the humor is. Get ready to laugh at the little moments that make every house a home! 😄🛋️

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

3 months ago

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

3 months ago

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

3 months ago

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

3 months ago

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

3 months ago

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

3 months ago

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

3 months ago

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

3 months ago

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

3 months ago

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

3 months ago

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

3 months ago

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

3 months ago

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

3 months ago

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

3 months ago

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

3 months ago

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

3 months ago

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

3 months ago

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

3 months ago

Note to self: No more bitching about ugly furniture with people at IKEA whose home you haven’t been to yet.

3 months ago

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

3 months ago