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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,811

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Making waves on WeChat:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Going viral on Threads:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Trending via Snapchat:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Spotted on Threads:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Seen just now on Facebook:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Home » Funny Ideal Partner Quotes

Funny ideal partner quotes

New funny ideal partner quotes 👇

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

0

1 month ago

gift, heaven, i, ideal, ideal partner, kindness, love, man, marriage, marry, me, partner, relationship, romance, straight

All funny ideal partner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Messenger this month:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Biting the heads off all these gingerbread men if you wanna swing by.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

73 shares on Discord this month:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

42 shares on Discord this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Just landed via Telegram:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Going viral on Slack:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Just landed via Instagram:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Just shared via Slack:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny ideal partner quotes

New funny ideal partner quotes 👇

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

All funny ideal partner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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