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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Breaking via X:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Trending via Discord:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Making waves on Discord:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Just shared via Messenger:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Just shared via WeChat:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking.

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All funny immaculate conception quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on TikTok this month:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

87 shares on Discord this month:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

52 shares on YouTube this month:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

For the record, I use a turntable.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re my least favourite notification.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Going viral on Telegram:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Seen just now on X:

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Going viral on Facebook:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Going bananas on Slack:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Just landed via WeChat:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

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