188 Funny job quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: “Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Commentary:
"Sure, tattoos might limit my job options, but have you seen my personality? It's a real game-changer! 😏💁‍♀️ Who needs a restrictive job when you have charisma oozing out of your pores, am I right?"
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Commentary:
"Remember, a job interview is like a first date – except you're trying to figure out if this person can handle Excel spreadsheets 📊 as well as romantic candlelit dinners! Asking questions is key – who knows, they might even surprise you with their secret talent for office karaoke 🎤 #InterviewTactics"
5 months ago
Share →: Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Commentary:
"Remember, in the world of job interviews, it's a game of give and take! 🤥💼 Don't be afraid to put your acting skills to the test just like they are 😉 #JobInterviewTactics"
5 months ago
Share →: My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Commentary:
"Oh the irony! 🤣 Training others when you yourself are unsure of what you're doing sounds like a recipe for office comedy! 🤷‍♂️ Who knows, maybe your boss thinks your incompetence adds a special 'charm' to the training sessions! 😄 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"
5 months ago
Share →: I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Commentary:
"Who needs a superhero when you have someone swooping in with a binder clip just in time? 💼💥 Never fear, the Binder Clip Avenger is here! Just call for help, and this mysterious figure will magically materialize to save the day… or at least keep your papers organized! 🦸‍♂️✨"
5 months ago
Share →: Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Commentary:
"Seriously, the power of the tiny hammer should not be underestimated! ⚖️🔨 I mean, imagine being able to silence noisy colleagues with a bang – productivity levels would skyrocket! 🔇💥 Who knew a little tool could hold so much power in the workplace? 🤣 #TinyHammerBoss"
5 months ago
Share →: I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Commentary:
Isn't it funny how the playing field of job opportunities is now equally dismal for everyone, tattoos or not? 🤣💼 It's like the only requirement for a good job now is… umm, having good luck? Or maybe just being a cat whisperer? 🐱🔮Oh, the times we live in! 😅
5 months ago
Share →: I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Commentary:
"Who needs a steady job when you can have a president who promises NO jobs? 🤷‍♂️ Unemployment is the new retirement plan! 💼💸 #JoblessAndHappy"
5 months ago
Share →: The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Commentary:
"Being a bomb technician must be a blast – or should I say, the bomb! 💣 On the bright side, every day is guaranteed to be explosive, but on the flip side, every day is guaranteed to be explosive… 🤯 Safety first, folks! 💥"
5 months ago
Share →: I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Commentary:
"Well, if you were told the ice cream machine was broken at McDonald's, you might want to take that as a compliment in disguise! Who knew getting denied ice cream could be a subtle flattery? 🍦😂 #IceCreamDiscrimination"