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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Going viral on Messenger:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Trending via Messenger:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Trending via LinkedIn:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

When two people argue online I believe whoever spells correctly.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Just shared via Snapchat:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Going viral on Facebook:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Going viral on WeChat:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Reported on Pinterest:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Just shared via Instagram:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

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