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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Just landed via Threads:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Trending via Snapchat:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Trending via Snapchat:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Just landed via YouTube:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Funny Keith Richards quotes

Funny Keith Richards quotes are a rock ’n’ roll treasure trove full of wit, wisdom, and wild charm 🎸😎. Whether you’re a Rolling Stones fan or just love a good laugh, his hilarious takes on life, music, and rockstar antics never fail to entertain 🤘😂. Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as we dive into the unforgettable words of rock’s most legendary guitarist 🎤🔥!

New funny Keith Richards quotes 👇

All funny Keith Richards quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

82 shares on Facebook this month:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

47 shares on X this month:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

29 shares on YouTube this month:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Spotted on WeChat:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Trending via Threads:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Trending via Telegram:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Just landed via Messenger:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Trending via Messenger:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

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