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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Shared recently on Reddit:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just shared via YouTube:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Going viral on X:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Shared recently on X:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Making waves on Pinterest:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Live now on Twitch:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

151 Funny kid quotes

More funny kid quotes 👇

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

3 months ago

accessory, apple, Apple Watch, attire, dress, fashion, formal, formal attire, humor, kid, outfit, please, spy, spy kid, style, take, watch

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All funny kid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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27 shares on X this month:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

72 shares on Threads this month:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

48 shares on Threads this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Shared recently on Threads:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Spotted on Slack:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

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151 Funny kid quotes

More funny kid quotes 👇

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

All funny kid quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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