Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 'kids who listen' – quite the mythical creature indeed, rumored to be even more mysterious than a unicorn that pays its bills on time!"
5 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal game of hide and seek with your parents! It seems like they were really committed to keeping you on your toes – or should I say, your little feet running to catch up with them wherever they went. At least you had a knack for tracking them down, which is a pretty useful skill for a kid to have! Who needs a map when you've got determined parents?
5 months ago
Share →: At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the key to escaping the office is not a corner office or a fancy title, but simply a fictional child! Who knew that the path to freedom was paved with imaginary offspring? Just make sure your "kid" doesn't accidentally show up at the company picnic, or you'll have some explaining to do!
5 months ago
Share →: Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Commentary:
"Who needs a kid that listens the first time when you can have a unicorn instead? 🦄✨ Maybe they'll be more obedient! 😂👂"
5 months ago
Share →: I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Commentary:
Ah, to be a kid again where a long nap is seen as an achievement worthy of applause! Who knew that adulting would involve celebrating just making it through the day without a nap time tantrum?
5 months ago
Share →: I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of modern parenting – trying to resist the temptation of naming your kids after household items or exotic foods just for the sake of Instagram fame. Imagine the chaos at roll call: 'Banjo, Parmesan, Chandelier, are you all present and accounted for?' It's a tough job being a parent, but someone's gotta do it without turning their child into a walking menu item."
5 months ago
Share →: I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Commentary:
"Kids have it all figured out, don't they? Meanwhile, I'm over here still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I should start taking career advice from kindergarteners!"
5 months ago
Share →: Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Commentary:
🎲🤔 "To all the gift-givers of board games for my kids: your presents have officially declared you as honorary family members! So tell us, when can we expect you to make your grand return and actually play with them? We've got Monopoly set up and ready to test friendships… 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Commentary:
"Teaching valuable life lessons one rigged movie night at a time! 🍕🎥💸 Who says democracy can't be deliciously cheesy and entertaining? 😄 #Parenting101"
6 months ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic childhood dream of growing up to struggle! 💪🏼👶🏼 Who needs easy street when you can take the scenic route through challenges, am I right? 😅 Keep aiming high, even if that means aiming for a struggle! 🎯 #LifeGoals"