Commentary:
Living the dream, sounds like a real nightmare! 😂😎
152 Funny kid quotes
When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.
Commentary:
Oh, so that's why I always thought the sun was trying to start a rock band ☀️🎸🦗
Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.
Commentary:
Sounds like you need a parting lesson with that Red Sea of trouble 😂🙏🏼💡
When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!
Commentary:
Guess that pig was after some killer ham bargains! 🐷🛒😆
Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?
Commentary:
When did life become a choice between wedding bells and being the next James Bond? 🍾💍✈️😎
What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?
Commentary:
When life hands you sweaty kids, pour yourself a glass and call it ‘Parenting Pinot’ 🍷😅
Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.
Commentary:
I guess we peaked at tamagotchis and dunkaroos, but adulting hit us with taxes and existential dread! 😅📟🍪💸
Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.
Commentary:
Trying to unlock the mysteries of the universe while spilling cereal everywhere, since forever 😄🍎🥣
Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.
Commentary:
Unlocking new levels of vocabulary: the DIY furniture edition! 🛠️🤬🤯
Sitting in a room with my husband and kids… Suddenly I realize everyone here has been in my vagina. Wow.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep it all in the family! 🤦♀️😂👶