Commentary:
When your math skills are as useful as a chocolate teapot 🤔📚🍫
153 Funny kid quotes
I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.
Commentary:
When your kid's "special" gift comes with a side of intimidation 😂🎁🙄
Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.
Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for that brain matter delivery, but it's stuck in eternal shipping delay! 🧠🚚⏳
I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.
Commentary:
"Forever young at heart, but my joints got the senior discount! 🧒💔🧓😂"
My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.
Commentary:
"When your kid has the psychic ability to detect yucky food from a mile away! 🥦🔮😆"
The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.
Commentary:
🎓😂 "Finally graduated from the endless school spam! Declaring my phone officially valedictorian of freedom! 📱✌️"
The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.
Commentary:
"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… 🤦🏻♀️🍫🔍 #SnackNinjaFail"
Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.
Commentary:
"Petition to reclaim my childhood naps—because adulting didn’t come with a snooze button! 😴🕒 #NapReparations"
I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.
Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"
No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.
Commentary:
"That kid just invented speed dialing… but in reverse! 😂📞🚀"